A Cyclist's Life in Tenerife (Canary Islands)

The worlds’ gone stark-raving mad. You hear responses like this to absurd news stories spoken every single day. What exactly am I referring to? I’m referring to insane cases of «personal rights, freedoms and civil liberties» in the simultaneous «age of political correctness». These two forces do not belong in the same time zone and space. It’s like matter and anti-matter, except that as soon as they come into contact, good old common sense implodes along with them.

Young people these days that claim they have the right to steal, vandalise, assault, rape, abuse, and generally do whatever the bloody hell they feel like. Okay, but then to compensate for their illegal behaviour you expect some sort of justice. You expect that when they get caught, they’ll be reprimanded by the full extent of the law. Not so. Instead, they go and slip on some marbles while robbing the plasma telly inside an innocent person’s home and sue the owner for negligence. [Read more →]

Tags: Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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I’ve been umming and ahhing over the past five or six months about whether I should bisect this blog or not. As the number of categories has recently grown, the articles have since shifted away from the original cycling theme (in line with the main page) to more profound & controversial articles. [Read more →]

Tags: Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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Some people claim that technology improves our lives by improving our standard of living. I certainly don’t deny that since we have less physical work to do, we now have more leisure time than ever before. Before I get any further, I should say that it is up to each of us to decide what we do in our leisure time and I have no business in commenting about that. What I would like to discuss here instead are the many side-effects of some recent advanced technologies…

As technology relentlessly progresses, the most obvious question that comes to mind: what happens to our long-standing face-to-face human interactions? I’m not merely refering to writing electronic e-mails to your friends or speaking with a relative over the telephone. There are many other human tasks besides communication which now take place with the ‘aid’ of technology. We join online social communities and make virtual friendships. We utilise virtual banking and online bill payments. We attempt to find real mates using virtual dating databases. We take part in virtual gaming entertainment and even participate in virtual sex.

Sometimes it seems as if our entire lives are mediated through technology. It appears to me that one of technologies’ secret aims is to over-ride all direct human-human interactions. Yes I realise that due to the internet we are in a sense ‘connected’ to more people than ever before. Yet we can’t talk to them all, so we have to narrow down our options. But is this a good or a bad thing? Lately, it seems we don’t have time to really talk to anybody. Have we already gone too far? Have we become victims of our own high-technology? I believe that far from connecting us, technology is making us more and more anti-social.

Below, I’ve commented on some of the most recent technologies and their possible negative consequences… [Read more →]

Tags: Mental Anguish, Vida Enigmática by Dr. Leslie Brown
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How to lose fitness:
I don’t know what happened to me in the last year. I seemed to lose all motivation for riding my road bike. It’s the same old story: you turn 30 and your belly starts to accrete fat molecules like an asteroid belt orbiting a big planet. So here’s a little spur-of-the-moment article I’ve put together that can possibly help loads of people.

I was so busy with www.Tenerife-Training.net & www.BikeNode.com, I didn’t get out as much & gained at least 5kg body mass in the last year (and none of it was muscle). Probably it was more like 7-10 kg, but I conveniently forgot what my starting weight was (~67kg?). All I know is that, suddenly one day I hopped on the scales and the little dial moved in a manner in which I’d never previously witnessed: it lurched forward and then backward and then forward again, swinging like the pendulum of a miniature grandfather clock, giving me enough time to realise that I’d definitely gained too much weight. By the time it settled I wasn’t happy about the decision to weigh myself. At this point, I could only imagine the level of guilt truly obese people feel. [Read more →]

Tags: Inspiration., Learning Curve, Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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The rate of construction taking place in Tenerife is mind-boggling. Just 50 years ago, before mass-tourism, the whole La Orotava valley was cultivated land. Today, pretty much every space below about 500m altitude has already been urbanised to some extent. It has one of the highest population densities of anywhere; the average figure is now 400-500 people / km², depending on how many tourists are present. In fact, if this island were a country, it’d be the 24th most populated country on the list… needless to say, I often feel a strange sense of agoraphobia. It’s not like a city, from which you can always escape. [Read more →]

Tags: Island Life, Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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Is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) simply an extreme degree of hyperactivity, brought about by many complex contributing factors? We’re stimulated (visually) by television and seemingly limitless internet possibilities. Outwardly, we appear to have adapted in various ways to this fast pace of life. But what happens to our brain when we stop all this fast-paced internet work and shutdown our computers and gaming consoles? Our brain continues to run wild at this high pace. Our minds continue to race overtime; not accustomed to stagnating, we dwell & obsess over the tiniest of problems merely for «something to do». Is this something we have control over?

Could a lack of excerise combined with overchoice & overstimulation actually compound certain mental disorders in the early phase of development? In an ever-increasingly stressful world, we’ve simultaneously reduced the amount of excercise we receive! We drive everywhere, use mobile devices, remote controls, pre-packaged «lazy foods», etc. Although most of us still continue to defer exercise. This is a recipe for disaster. Could this be a simple link to many of today’s current mental disorders? [Read more →]

Tags: Mental Anguish, Science Simplified by Dr. Leslie Brown
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To date, there have been 185 «special edition» Google logos, which can be seen here. I, like many people, use Google to perform internet searches almost daily. I missed a lot of other trivial logos shown previously. So here’s my chance to comment on this one before it’s too late! [Read more →]

Tags: Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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Whenever I see this following video clip, I’m simply amazed at the intricacy of each animation scene. This is one of those things I look at and place into the «I couldn’t do this any better not even in my wildest dreams» category. I haven’t had the opportunity to see the movie yet though. Apparantly they’re remaking Akira into a live action film in 2009. I don’t see how they can do better that this though. I would have been blown away had I seen this at the time it was released when I was 11.

Akira is a 1988 Japanese animated film set in a neon-lit futuristic post-apocalyptic Tokyo in 2019. Akira is regarded by critics as one of the greatest animated films ever made. One of the reasons for the movie’s success was the highly advanced quality of its animation. At the time, most anime was notorious for cutting production corners with limited motion, such as having only the characters’ mouths move while their faces remained static. Akira broke from this trend with meticulously detailed scenes, exactingly lip-synched dialogue €” a first for an anime production (voices were recorded before the animation was completed, rather than the opposite) €” and super-fluid motion as realized in the film’s more than 160,000 animation cels.

Tags: Inspiration., Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD) is a mental disorder of which the primary symptom is the inability to concentrate. While the symptoms are widely accepted, the causes are disputed. Conventional studies of this disease have focused on brain’s ability to produce dopamine, food additives such as colourants, genetic research and environmental factors (including alcohol, in utero tobacco smoke and lead exposure). Meanwhile, the actual treatments are even more controversial, ranging from medication (including stimulants and anti-depressants), to counseling and behavioural therapy.

But recent studies describe a new form of ADHD treatment; how strenous exercise can reduce the symptoms of ADHD, without the need for medication: [Read more →]

Tags: Inspiration., Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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Before I continue with this story, I wish to make it perfectly clear that I am in no way humouring this subject. On the contrary, I’m attempting to highlight this afflictive social dilemma, thereby drawing attention to it. In fact, the popular notion of that «Lemming commit mass suicide» is a misconception. It’s not helped by lemming cartoons such as the one shown here. I can almost guarantee that I’ll get more exposure by tying this sad story in with Lemmings, if only because «Lemming Suicide» is a much more popular search term than «Innu people of Nitassinan, Davis Inlet  in the Labrador-Quebec peninsula, eastern Canada». But the real focus of this article is that some human cultures and communities are more prone to suicide than others, especially when entire societies are relocated. I will speculate about this further in future articles. [Read more →]

Tags: Mental Anguish, Vida Enigmática by Dr. Leslie Brown
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Many readers who do not host their own websites will not realise this, but yes, whenever you visit a website, the server records how you got there. What does this mean? Well, whatever you enter into google is usually stored by the host-server, and it is in fact all-too-easy for someone like me to peruse that list. Just for the record, it’s also possible to know in which order you viewed the web pages on my site, and how long you remained on each page.

Anyway, browsing through all the many search terms that people use to find this site has quickly become a regular little past time. Knowing what people search for and what is successful certainly helps with Search Engine Optimisiation (SEO). Most of the search terms generally have keywords such as «cycling», «bike hire» or «Tenerife». But here is a list of the 100 all-time most unique search terms I have encountered so far, really standing out above the remaining 13,000+ internet searches used to find www.Tenerife-Training.net. All these people entered my site by typing these exact terms into a search engine:

JUST PLAIN STRANGE SEARCH TERMS:

1. «fish with big lips»
2. «sea snake santa»
3. «benedict alan climbed into a camel»
4. «submarine for hire»
5. «eggbeater review candy»
6. «chocolate coated banana business»
7. «in life some hoops you have to jump through will be on fire»
8. «purple kettle» (21 people actually searched for this term in the last year alone)
9. «crocodile initiation philosophy»Â 
10. «crocodile scars»
11. 2-oxo-l-threo-hexono-1 4- lactone-2 3-enediol
12. «tired after eating turkey»
13. «perspective of air resistance»
14. «what do tongan people look like»
15. «is soy good for nerves»
16. ujmwutzckmkdwean

STUPID SEARCH TERMS:

1. «i don t like turning left when the road marking makes me turn the car to the left»
2. «what should u use for a 3 year old when driving a car»Â 
3. «how much time do i spend in each place when traveling»
4. «could it be a big world after all»
5. «can you translate words and how»
6. «safe to eat a rotten banana»
7. «can you take shower gel in your suitcase now when travelling?»
8. «how many chupa chups have they sold in the world»
9. «the best inventions chup & chups»
10. «are there cheap paintings by pablo picasso?»
11. «earn twenty bucks now»
12. «how much space does 11 million metric tons take up?»
13. «how do computers remember the time»
14. «how big is 6 000 000 000»
15. «science learns you essential things for life?» [Read more →]

Tags: Island Life, Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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WHAT I DO BELIEVE IN:

(note that I haven’t said «Science»)

WHAT I DON’T BELIEVE IN:

Tags: Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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Consider this: a society is able to perform many tasks, share work, trade labour, food and everything else required to stay alive. A strong, interactive community obviously makes life easier than a loosely bound one. On the other hand, a solitary individual would face a tremendous challenge in facing the same environment alone.

So it could be said that social integrity worked to build united communities in the past, increasing the chances of survival. Hence, the members of a society generally collaborate where possible & do what the majority of its members collectively accept (otherwise there is a revolution, but even then there is a group of individuals involved in the same decision).

I’ve noticed that a general «social inertia» exists in modern society to prevent socially unaccepted ideas from germinating. Consider it a [Read more →]

Tags: Mental Anguish, Vida Enigmática by Dr. Leslie Brown
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In many cultures, the passage of childhood through adulthood is defined by various types of initiation cermonies or «rites of passage». In Vanuatu they exchange pigs, mats, kava, and other goods between a child’s father’s and mother’s families. In indigenous Australian and African tribes, they perform face painting rituals and circumcisions. Similarly, throughout Melanesia and Polynesia, tattoos are used to symbolise the same transition.

Here in Spain, that same journey is marked by the ability of an adolescent to endure the official vehicle licensing beauracracy. In a word, it can only be described as exasperating. Now I actually relish challenges, but I had no idea what I was getting myself into…

“There are few things in life as difficult or intimidating as getting a Spanish driver’s license,” says American expat Sal DeTraglia of Sal DeTraglia’s Virtual Tapas Bar. “It is a process akin to trying to solve Fermat’s last theorem while sitting on death row in a Texas prison. If you don’t believe me, just ask anyone who has been through it.”

[Read more →]

Tags: Island Life, Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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We live in a time like no other. We’ve essentially won the struggle for life and dominated the planet and now we wonder what the real purpose of life is. I could say that «the point of life is to live». You may think that’s a bleeding obvious statement, but to succeed against all the odds in the fight for survival is essentially the point of life; it’s what gives us our happiness.

We are told from a very early age that to make it in the world, to get what you want will make you happy. Once you are ‘rich, successful and healthy’, you can then live happily ever after. Although clearly that isn’t always the case. Western cultures have the highest standard of living than ever before and the longest lifespans, but coincidentally, the same advanced societies also have the highest rates of medically diagnosed depression ever to be recorded. This begs the question: are we fundamentally happier as a result of the comfortable lifestyles we have attained for ourselves?

The actual pursuit of happiness is and always will be a relentless quest. Happiness is not a permanent state because our life struggle is in a permanent state of flux. To be alive & healthy, with a positive vision of future survival, is to be happy. So it recently occurred to me that the real meaning or aim of our lives is the search for happiness. Think about it. People pursue happiness above all else - it’s what motivates us. We intentionally make important decisions which we believe will in some way ultimately increase our happiness. You may confuse money with happiness, as the former is viewed as one measure of success, but don’t get distracted. Delving a little deeper [Read more →]

Tags: Mental Anguish, Vida Enigmática by Dr. Leslie Brown
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In case you hadn’t realised, this has turned into a 5 or 6 part series on getting your license in Spain.

Today I attempted the final driving exam for the first time (yes in Spanish). I just got back and I failed. This is despite completing over 3600 practise theory questions in Spanish and almost 30 hours of compuslory driving lessons. Before I continue, I feel that I should say that far from being a loser, for 10 years I have never failed anything I have attempted, but I’m not at all suprised I failed this one.

It’s nothing to do with ability to drive a car. Far from it. It’s more like seeing how well you cope with a national bureacracy.

Apart from that, one of the most difficult parts of the whole learning to drive experience (at least here in Tenerife) is that you are never permitted to use the handbrake, neither on hillstarts nor when parking on slopes (the only exception is when you immobilise the vehicle). I soon mastered that and was feathering that clutch from a standstill up 20% inclined slopes! No not 5 % or even 10 %, but a 20% gradient. Let’s see someone in Australia do that without using a handbrake.

Anwyay, over the last several weeks, I thought I’d come to learn all the ‘tricks’, but such is not the case. ‘Tricks’ you say? Yes they try their utmost to trick you in order to justify more expensive lessons (they tell me that the average is 20). Here is what I encountered over the course of my twenty driving lessons:

• Faded/bent/non-existent «no entrance» signs.
• Faded road markings
• Inconsistent road markings
• Stop signs obscured by tree branches
• Pedestrians hidden and waiting behind large trash containers
• Potholes which can’t be driven over at speed

Now they do their best to devise a circuit to ensure that you’ll encounter the most of the above situations. Of course when you naturally make a mistake, your instructor doesn’t hesitate in pointing it out to you. What that does is it makes you look like you aren’t capable of driving a car on your own yet.

If you travel down a street in 3rd gear, they advise you that you need to go slower in second gear to be prepared for obstacles. Go down the exact same street in 2nd gear the next day and they’ll tell you to change into 3rd to save petrol. Yes, you can follow their instruction for as long as you want, but whatever you do, until you’ve accomplished the unofficial ~20 lessons, no matter what you do, you’re generally fucked. [Read more →]

Tags: Island Life, Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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In Spain, if you want to get a driving license, official driving lessons are compulsory. There is no such thing as learning to drive with family members or friends. Not only that, but unlike the USA and Australia, learning to drive an automatic vehicle is also not an option. Furthermore, both the theoretical and practical driving standards that you need to reach before you are ready to attempt the final driving exam can only be described as «pedantic». What this means is attending paid driving lessons, and plenty of them…

Over the past few months I’ve been regularly attending driving lessons with a local driving school in La Orotava. This started out a fairly nerve-wracking experience. Today, I just completed the 19th compulsory driving lesson, at a cost of 48.00 to 50.00 Euros each one -yes they had the nerve to put the price up half way through! This soon adds up to quite a sum of money: 950 Euros!!! I’ve come to regard these as some some pretty darn expensive ‘advanced’ parking lessons, and if you think that’s bad, when my partner was learning to drive, she had to take 60-something lessons, and then still failed the actual driving exam twice!

Now you may think «what kind of a clutz needs that many lessons?». And I can tell you right there that I had already driven halfway across the state of NSW in Australia earlier in 2007, a distance of well over 500km. Not only that, but I hold a current full motorcycle driving license. So I already had plenty of experience driving on public roads in dense city traffic. Changing gears on my motorbike become second nature years ago. I’m saying that I was already fairly accustomed to driving on the road, albeit in Australia. In my opinion, I only needed some further instruction with the gears & clutch, which I was already getting the hang of by the end of the very first spanish driving lesson.

My point is: that great quantity of lessons is not really needed at all. It’s just an excuse to earn money. To prove my point, let’s look t the following numbers. There are now 45 million people in Spain. To quote some driving statistics, Spanish authorities  issued 698,128 new driving licences in 2003, bringing the total number of drivers in Spain to 20,301,418. Ususally, these figures increase with each passing year. Even so, if every one of those new drivers needed an average of 20 driving lessons at cost of 50 Euros each, the total cost per annum is 1 BILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS!

Tags: Island Life, Mental Anguish, That's Business by Dr. Leslie Brown
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I really really like this advert… it’s an anti drug campaign created by the program «twelve months twelve causes», broadcast by channel 5 here in Spain. As the title of the program indicates, for each month of the year there is a new cause – awareness of an important issue.

In translation, the slogan that the man says is: «to enter is easy; it’s difficult to leave» (‘entrar es fácil, lo difí­cil es salir’). «For a youth without drugs» is displayed at the end of the advertisement (Por una juventud sin drogas). I think it speaks for itself:

Tags: Inspiration., Island Life, Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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In 2006 I met a fellow cyclist and it was clear from the very beginning that this man was fundamentally not happy. As we talked and rode together, he confided in me that although he was a successful attorney/solicitor who made £200,000 / year, he suspected that he was ‘depressed’! Having been through my own dark phase the year before, I remember thinking«but how could this man claim to be unhappy?».

Perhaps in the game of life, the struggle to make it in the world -to be successful- to get what you want, maybe that part IS the happiness, not the desires themselves -not even the destination- but the journey. Not the reward at the end, but the actual road to achievement. The belief in yourself. «The survival of the fitest».

You meet older people like this all the time – jaded travellers are a classic example. It’s almost as if life is too easy for some. And I have a challenge to those people. Let’s call it «Doc Browns Challenge»:

1. First, buy a one-way ticket to any poorer country with a language other than your own.
2. Next, give all of your money to charity, every single last cent (no, not to me).
3. Finally, try and get what you want now! (try and get back home within a year, for example)

There is only one rule: you aren’t allowed any outside financial help or aid and you must obey all the local laws and customs of the foreign country. And the moral of the story is, if you can read this, don’t take anything for granted. Be positive, because happiness is far richer than money.

Tags: Mental Anguish, That's Business by Dr. Leslie Brown
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When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the man staring back from the glass.

He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear up to the end,
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

Anonymous

Tags: Inspiration., Mental Anguish by Dr. Leslie Brown
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